Psychotomy

went to the apple store about her laptop last night. it’s been crashing for a while, but in the last week it’s become unusable (crashing first thing in the morning in under half an hour …). got there abt 6:30 and after describing our problem we were asked if we had a genius bar appt. no, well, the next slot is at 8:30 (coincidentally, on the way in we’d made reservations at rainforest cafe for 8:30). fine, take that slot, go to dinner right then.

but i’m sorry, what’s the genius going to do with hardware? N OTHING! but apparently all issues are directed to the genius bar, b/c mac users are idiots and it’s easier this way.

so we’re sitting at the bar for like 10 minutes, there’s 4 employees at the registers and two wandering the store. OK, there’re only 3 registers, for starts :o fine, we sit. we sit. still sitting. absolutely no one is making any move to acknowledge our existence at the wholly empty and unmanned bar. i finally ask an employee, (8:35) and he says the guy should be out in a minute. but he’ll go check. lo and behold, once someone went to the back room and told him to get off his lazy ass and do his job, poof he bounds right out!

(i didn’t take my happy pill the last few days it’s making me nauseous ;o)

he comes out, asks what the problem is. lots of hanging, crashing and kernel panics. i comment that the hanging and the crashing are separate so it’s really 3 problems, he says “really it’s all one problem. kernel panics” OK, fair enough. except i think it started as a small heat problem and has escalated, so i comment that it’s hardware by now.

“No, it’s not hardware. It’s a kernel panic.” wtf? dumbass! what do you think the kernel is? the guy who managed elvis? kernel panics come from somewhere, and it’s not the blue fairy you fuck. it’s HARDWARE ISSUES. hardware goes futz, kernel goes YAR!!

“Are you on airport when this happens” “yeah” “yeah, that looks like the problem” then he reboots the machine and goes into diskcheck mode. why? we just established that it was the blue fairy boinking kernel airport, didn’t we?

while it’s running diskcheck (which i ran the other day already) he asks where she usually uses it. “school” no, where? i interject desks, she says sometimes her lap. “You realyl shouldn’t use it on the bed.” uh? who said bed? “And you shouldn’t put it on your lap” (because it gets hot and it’ll burn you/sterilize you/etc, right?) “because it needs good airflow” uh … lap: two legs, rounded surfaces, spaced. Desk: flat, planar. one of these has air flow. it ain’t the desk.

diskcheck comes back clear (i don’t know why we ran it, we know it’s the kernel and the airport, no hardware issues … unless the harddrive isn’t hardware? maybe apple uses magic pixie elephants instead of harddrives and they just imprison them in small boxes?)

but now he asks if she’d be OK with not having it for 7-10 business days if they have to send it to the shop (WHY??? IT”S A KERNEL PANIC, YOU DON’T NEED TO SEND IT IN B/C THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITHTHE HARDWARE, RIGHT ???) of course, since it’s the next best thing to unusable, the answer is sure :o

genius my freakin’ ass. juts b/c the mac is designed as an idiots computer (like an idiot an afford mac prices) doesn’t mean everyone’s an idiot and you’re a genius just b/c you’ve had one longer.

but i was good. since her laptop really needed fixing, i kept my mouth shut after he explained to me that kernel errors never have a hardware basis :o i even turned in my ipod since it usually loses all charge rather rapidly (like under a day without using it)

Posted in: general by attriel /