Psychotomy

an ongoing thing the last few years has been my going back for my phd in computers. i kept saying i didn’t want to b/c i didn’t feel i could reasonably come up with thesis material.

because PhD theses are supposed to be “new contributions to the field” and I’m not in a research environment where I can play with things to the extent of coming up ith something new. and as a part time grad student, I wouldn’t be doing enough at school and RAing and such to pull it out. then kiir keeps telling me that if everyone’s eyes glaze over when i describe what i’m working at, it might be phd-quality. despite my protests that i wasn’t doing anything exciting and i was just doing basic blatantly obvious things. “which no one else has done”, she kept adding

so i keep looking at it on and off. hopkins became a non-contender when they told me I’d have to do 1-2 years fulltime as a resident student for their program. and none of my classes from my masters would transfer, b/c they’re sure that the Georgia Institute of Technology is a very good school (sarcasm) but it’s not on their level. It left me so stunned that I couldn’t even respond at the time, but GaTech vs JHU for CS? yeah, they’re A string, you’re C, but you’ve got an overall name people trust so I was willing to take it :o

now looking at u maryland, have to take the GRE’s again. looked over the coursework, and I have enough courses that I honestly feel I could skip the material in that I have the coursework done. they won’t let me transfer that many ,which means I’ll have to go to classes. which will SUCK b/c I KNOW THIS MATERIAL! and i do badly with boredom.

and theses? apparently most theses these days are done differently. grad students pick a prof to suck up to, get put on THEIR research, and then co-author a couple papers with the prof about whatever it is. i don’t see me doing well with that environment, since most of the research i’ve seen like that is bland and boring. last time a prof tried to force me to do his research instead of mine, it led to a bunchof arguments wherein i ignored what he wanted and did it myway instead :o probably not the best plan for a PhD advisor though

I’m not even sure I want my doctorate, per se. my reasoning is weird. a) my sister in law has a law degree (Juris Doctor) which means she technically has a doctorate. no theses, and a lot of people get law degrees, but still. b) my dad got his, and much as i may malign him and dismiss him and such, he really was a solid and good role model, growing up. and c) b/c i’m smarter than the idiots, and people respect the paper, so i want the paper.

which is funny. b/c i don’t necessarily respect the paper. i respect the person, if they show me that they deserve it. which is why i don’t care about getting it, on the other hand, since i don’t necessarily respect it in other people these days. and i don’t know that it’s really as fancy-schmancy as it used to be, what with the theses no longer being “new” but rather more relaxed now :/

Posted in: general by attriel /