Psychotomy

So, one of my “hallmarks” is a tendency to worry and fret about things I really can’t control. For instance, I gave myself a mild ulcer (or ulceration or something) when I was 15 because I was worried about some test scores. I passed (more than), but for the couple of weeks between taking the tests and getting the results, I was actually going through pepto alarmingly fast for a teenager :/

Why bring this up? Well, the story had no point. But the concepts? That’s because I’ve already started worrying myself sick about the India trip. The flight (oh gods the flight), the relatives, what we’re going to do. Where we’re going to go.

I’ve been less than half a dozen times in my entire life. Some of that is from before I was old enough to remember, the last trip was after we were married. I remember some. Some of what I remember isn’t there anymore. I’d love to show him the ancestral home (for no reason but to show it to him since it really isn’t that exciting) but NO ONE lives there anymore. We may take a day trip out there to see it from the street, but I think the property was sold, too, which means there may not even BE a house :o That’s one of my two big memory places. The other is the sister we stay with every time, but even that house has changed a lot.

I worry about how he’s going to be, with all these “strange” people around! He gets shy in large groups, and with big Indian families … It’s almost all “large groups” … and when it isn’t? Well, then we have small houses and 3 people besides us and my folks makes it crowded :o

And on top of it, I’m worrying about whether I’m going to get sick AGAIN. I seem to get nauseaus or diarrhetic EVERY trip … so I’m currently making myself sick by worrying about whether I’m going to get sick … I hate my mind somedays.

Posted in: India by attriel /