Psychotomy

Went and called a psychiatrist last week. Since my doc’s changed me multiple times lately, and the meds have been getting steadily WORSE! (ie : i quit carrying my pocketknife under a week after switching to the welbutrin … b/c i decided it would be bad if i didn’t)

go in today, apparently shock the heck out of him on a few occassions (he doesn’t believe i’m really 215lbs; and he seemed a little unsure when i was upfront and straightforward to some of his questions)

he decided that i don’t have ADHD b/c i didn’t have a reserved seat in detention and i passed my classes in gradeschool … apparently you can’t have a disorder unless you’re mentally fucked and morally whacked.

unsurprisingly, my indian doc defended my indian father’s inability to sit still as “he’s a workaholic”. Got confused when i told him my wife was jewish not indian …

wasn’t too comfortable with the part where he asked “have you ever had thoughts of hurting yourself?” “yeah. never wanted to reall kill myself, more cutting myself up for attention, then hiding it so people wouldn’t notice”

I think the one he REALLY liked was “have you thought of hurting anyone else?” “my boss. but that’s more b/c i don’t like them than anything else” “i mean, i don’t want to kill them, i just wanna beat on them b/c they’re stupid and annoying. I don’t intend to actualyl do anything to them, i just wish they’d shut up and go away”

…

i wonder if that’s gonna come back and bite me in the ass? …

anyway, he left me on welbutrin (b/c THAT’s been working fucking well) and put me back on lexapro. at 10. B/c he won’t do 40 “the usual dosage is 20mg” … do these peopel not understand that “usual” “averge” and “customary” all mean “but can differ” ??? jesus.

we’ll up my lexa to 20 if 10′s not doing enough, in 2 weeks. whee

Posted in: general by attriel /