Psychotomy

so this weekend was our “childbearing” class. which told us about labor, the signs symptoms complications dangers options yadda etc and so on.

two days. oi. i learned many interesting things. such as:

• it will hurt
• it will be messy
• it’ll hurt

and those were the high points of hte process :o the videos did a wonderful job of making it look entirely unappealing. they need to show those vids in highschool, eesh.

of course, they covered “the coach’s” duties through all of this. “coach” is what they call the father/husband in case he’s a she, not married, or unrelated. b/c “partner” is too sexist or something. p freakin’ c :o anyway, they had this big list of things, which both kiir and I summarised very succinctly as: I do what she says. seriously, like i’m going to say to the screaming impained woman on the bed who’s having a baby “sorry, I can’t help you right now. The LIST says I’m supposed to go get you ice chips. You’ll have to massage your own damned cramp until I get back.” yeah, that’d go over well :o

one big thing was “helping find ways for the mother to relax during the process b/c tensing is bad blah blah blah” … relax … ok, so, I’ll wheel her computer in with wifi and she can play EQ2 or Vanguard between contractions? Or maybe the X360 and she can play bejeweled? damnit, being non-traditional makes somethings hard :o maybe a good book … with big letters so it’s easy to read when she’s pushing …

W. T. F.

whatevah!

i’m sure i learned some things (don’t go to the hospital at the first contraction ; wait until they’re 2 hours apart or so to start worrying * …), but it’s hard to say b/c they were all unconcious learning i think. mostly, it was boring and felt like a waste of time. I’d've rather been playing on the computer. relaxing :p

* — OK, so, the “sample labor” scenario … “You get up to go to the bathroom at 6am, and you feel a contraction, what do you do?” my first answer? “go back to bed, it’s 6am” (correct answer: it’s just one contraction, go back to bed; yay me!)

“At 8 o’clock, you feel a second contraction, what should you do” me? “keep making breakfast”; someone else? “start timing the contractions” … correct: make sure your bag is in the car and ready, in case they get more frequent … uh, it’s been 2 hours, they almost HAVE to get more frequent unless it’s braxton-hicks …

“At 9:30 you have another contraction. This one is stronger than the others, and you have to stop what you’re doing at the peak” me? “ok, wait to see how you’re doing in another hour or two”, answer: “Call your provider” …

uh, you’ve had THREE contractions in 3.5 hours!!! see if you can at least get 3 in ONE hour before you freak! eeesh. (ok, so, i’m not likely to be ‘calm and controlled’ but i hope i can not panic at that kindof range …)

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so, just sent an email to the third friend i’m still close with from highschool (there’s another one or two that i only talk to every few years, b/c like one lives in japan :o … wonder if i can figure out his address, i know it was supposed to be real simple … like his name @ his name or something … )

so now all (most) of my friends have been told. she’s only 6 months pregnant. it’s not like i INTENTIONALLY waited, though. i’m just lazy and i don’t figure most people care. but that’s me i guess. i’m kinda private. except, like, i post all kindsa shit here, so i’m kinda private in a public way.

yeah. ok, so whatever. they’ve all been told :p

(edit: ok so yeah, i just went ahead and looked up the (yes, blatantly obvious and easy to remember) address for my friend in japan :o  i’m sure i’ll promptly forget it again.  but now that i’ve mailed him, it’s in my records at least !)

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From a NYT article (What’s Wrong with Cinderella?)

Easier, that is, unless you want to buy your daughter something that isn’t pink. Girls’ obsession with that color may seem like something they’re born with, like the ability to breathe or talk on the phone for hours on end. But according to Jo Paoletti, an associate professor of American studies at the University of Maryland, it ain’t so. When colors were first introduced to the nursery in the early part of the 20th century, pink was considered the more masculine hue, a pastel version of red. Blue, with its intimations of the Virgin Mary, constancy and faithfulness, was thought to be dainty. Why or when that switched is not clear, but as late as the 1930s a significant percentage of adults in one national survey held to that split. Perhaps that’s why so many early Disney heroines — Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Wendy, Alice-in-Wonderland — are swathed in varying shades of azure. (Purple, incidentally, may be the next color to swap teams: once the realm of kings and N.F.L. players, it is fast becoming the bolder girl’s version of pink.)

see, that’s what i’m talking about.  pink is a girls color because they say so.  but it isn’t.  ok, i didn’t know it used to be a boy’s color, but jeez there’s a lotta pink.  and blue?  bah.  whateva!  hell, i’m colorblind, i got all kindsa free excuses when i buy things “inappropriately colored” but seriously.  is wearing a blue dress gonna make the girl into a bride of satan?  pink onesies are gonna turn my hulking brute of a linebacker into a gay homosexual?  pfft.  (OK, so i’m more likely to do the whole “not under my roof!” thing if he wants to play american football than if he wants to date guys, that’s not my point here)

and later in the article it talks about princess peach (there was some bootcamp princess peach game) … and it made me wonder …

WTF is she “princess peach”?  her dress is pink!  there’s nothing PEACH !  at all!!!  I just don’t get that.  i mean, come on, would it be THAT hard to make it a peach dress?  (or is this the part where everyone tells me she DOES wear a peach dress?)

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ok, first off, we’re not sure which last name we’re going to use.  mine or hers.  she’s not attached to hers, and it’s “natural” for the woman to give up her name.  blah blah blow me.  tradition my ass.  i’m not really attached to mine, especially since my dad’s brothers are both guptas.  something about castes and subcastes and it’s not a family name but a societal declaration.  gupta is like government or bank maybe, money man.  singhal seems to be white-collar educated technical dude.  but i’m not sure.  but singhal doesn’t draw me too strongly one way or the other.

we’re looking at either “desmond” or “gareth” at this point, for a first name.  we looked at a bunch of others, and had a shortlist of 6 or so (until we learned the gender, a boy was going to be desmond; once we learned the gender we decided we would look more and make a “big decision”; desmond’s made it to the final 2 anyway, handy). to be fair, both names (and moreso desmond) violate one of the pseudo-rules i was applying to offerings from the books:  not a well-known name, product, or gag.  desmond lewellyn (Q form the bond movies) and gareth blackstone (Chef from Chef! (BBC)).

otoh, both are basically the only shots i came up with, and neither is particularly well known (TBH Q was where i originally suggested desmond from, but unless a second kid is named lewellyn (which would probably be more after the dragon in ozy and millie comic) it’s not likely to be caught)

i remember alistair, sebastian and damian were on the short list.  there were a couple others, which were likewise good, but we slowly dropped it to the two.  we’re both good with either, and it will likely be desmond, irregardless of her mom’s dislike of the fact that the nickname is “desi” of “desilu productions” (desi arnez; lucy’s husband) … but, yaknow?  i’m thikning there’s a very limited number of people gonna make that connection, even if mom does insist on buying the boy bongos and conga drums.  but she prefers desilu to gary b/c “it’s …he’ll be called gary!!!” (said in front of family friends, his name being gary :o)

since we’re homeschooling, and both names are two-syllables but easy, i’m not too worried about nicknames.  and i honestly think it’d be des and garth (which i’m not fond of garth, but we’re talking about their friends and the 5-10 period; if they want to be called garth, it’s their choice, later in life, and preteens won’t likely use a nick anyway, unless the real name is long (nicholas, sebastian, alistair, etc; 3-syll and up ; 2syl doesn’t “need” shortening)) rather than desi and gary

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